Nothing Good About Goodbye
by playing tragic
Summary: After Beck dies in a tragic accident, Tori struggles to help Jade feel at peace again.


_**/Tori/**_

It's been exactly one week since the funeral.

Some fucking idiot decided to consume alcohol and then get in his car. Beck was killed on impact. For obvious reasons, when a friend dies, many things don't feel right. It's wrong to not feel their presence anymore. It's wrong to be at places that they would usually be. There's that twinge of sadness when you pass their name on your phone's contact list. It's not like you'll ever talk to them again, but you keep them there, because you're not ready to delete them. It's sickening to find anything amusing. It's sickening to be happy. Even the slightest smile feels like betrayal.

The group of friends I've come to know well over the past two years are still in this stage, with no indication of this stopping anytime soon. André doesn't play music anymore, Cat's not bubbly anymore, and Robbie doesn't even talk anymore.

Then there's Jade. No one has seen or heard from her since the funeral; even then, she tried to get in and out as quickly as she could; no one had the chance to talk to her. I've probably called her a hundred times, but she's never answered. I resorted to calling her mom a few times for confirmation that Jade was even alive.

Now, I stand in front of Jade's house, waiting for the moment I can pull myself together and ring the doorbell.

I breathe in deeply, telling myself that I had to do this for Jade, and push the button on the side of the house. Ten seconds go by before Jade's mother opens the door. She's the sweetest thing; not resembling Jade at all in terms of both looks and personality. "Hi Ms. West, I just wanted to see how Jade was..."

A sad smile graced the blonde woman's face, whether it was for me, her devastated daughter, both of us, or the tragic situation itself, I wouldn't know, but I could understand any of those reasons. "I can't answer that. Jade's in her room. It would be a miracle if she'd let you in. I get it though; she's been through a lot."

I nod in understanding, "I'll still try though."

"Good luck, Sweetie," Jade's mother tells me. I walk up the staircase and find Jade's door. I knock lightly, only to get a muffled 'Go away' in return, which was exactly what I expected.

Biting my lip, I stare at the door, wondering if I should open it, say something, or walk away. Well, it wouldn't help anyone if I just left without trying, now would it? "Jade, it's Tori. Please let me in. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Did you honestly think that I would be okay?" I hear, much more clearly, from behind the closed door.

"No, not really."

Silence fills my ears and I begin to think it will remain this way. "Fine, come in." I open the door slowly. Her room is a mess, black clothing and a blanket, papers and books all scattered on her bedroom carpet. I'd been at her house quite a few times before what happened, even unexpectedly; her room had always been neat and organized.

Jade is lying on her bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling. She's completely dressed though, her hair looks nice, and she obviously did her make-up today. She looks really put together, as if her boyfriend hadn't just died a week and a half ago. That's not to say she really looks like nothing happened though, her skin is paler than usual and her eyes look more grey than blue. Something about her facial expression is terrifying in the saddest way. Let's put it this way, if she hadn't been talking to me just seconds ago, I would have assumed she was dead.

I cautiously walk over to Jade's bed, being extra careful not to step on anything on her floor in the process, and sit by her feet. "I've missed you," I say, "and I'm really worried about you."

"You should be. It's not exactly pleasant to have your boyfriend get killed in a car wreck."

"I'd imagine not. He was my friend too. But you had a lot of history with him, you knew him so much better than I did. You dated for years." I stop speaking, feeling I'm getting into dangerous territory.

"It's crazy," she starts, her voice sounding distant, like she hadn't heard a word I said, "He's everywhere. In almost everything in this room. Some things _are_ him; when I see them I can't think of anything but him, I mean. It actually makes me sick to be in here."

With that, she finally sits up, resting her back against the wall, and she hugs her knees to her chest. "Maybe you should get a box and pack up all the things that remind you of him," I suggest, having heard the advice multiple times.

"Some things are best to just get rid of," she mumbles, black nailed fingers idly playing with the gold piece of jewelry around her neck. I open my mouth to speak, but find I have no idea what to say.

Getting rid of items that reminded me of someone I loved who had passed away would kill me. There was no reason to tell her that though. Jade knows what's best for her.

Every fiber in my being wants to wrap my arms around her and never let her go, thinking somehow it would make us both feel better. I have a healthy fear of her though, even if she's emotionally broken right now; and though it's terrible, I'm afraid I'll make it worse if I do.

"Only if you're sure you won't regret it."

"How can you be sure of anything?"

"I guess you can't."

My heart felt as if it was shattering inside my chest. Realizing I would never see Beck again was painful, and knowing Jade was hurting so much more than me was making it worse. I'd love to take all the pain away from her, from everyone affected by this really, but I can't. No one can change what happened now. We're just left with the aftermath and somehow we're supposed to figure out how to deal with it.

Right now, possibly millions of other people all around the world are dealing the death of a loved one. It happened to countless numbers of people before us, and will happen to a countless number of people after us.

It's not like this is an isolated incident, but that doesn't make it easier. The only thing that can heal us now is time, which is somewhat funny considering time doesn't even have the courtesy to stop so we can collect our thoughts.

"Would you mind taking me somewhere?" Jade asks suddenly, distracting me from my thoughts.

"Um, now?"

"Yeah."

"Where exactly?"

"Just will you or won't you?"

I paused, having no clue what she was planning on doing. I was only promising to take her somewhere, I wasn't promising to allow her to do anything drastic.

"I will."

**Author's Note: This story has been in my mind for a while but I never got down to actually writing it, but due to recent events and an inspiring song, I felt that writing it might be a good thing. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Please review and tell me what you think.**


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